Well you didn’t plan that well

As we get closer to Christmas and the New Year, we are also coming up to the birthdays for our boys. We have one turning 6 before Christmas and our baby to celebrate his first Christmas then birthday in January. I understand that to some this may present as poor planning on our behalf to have our children so close to Christmas. In reality, we had little planning or control over when our babies joined our family.

While it may seem like a harmless comment, this is what it sparks in me:

• No, I didn’t plan to have a miscarriage of my first pregnancy which would have given us a Spring baby.
• No, I didn’t plan to be lucky enough to fall pregnant again within months.
• No, I didn’t plan to wait 5 years between babies.
• No, I didn’t plan to that we would struggle with fertility second time around
• No, I didn’t plan to struggle with my mental health as a result
• No, I didn’t plan to have to find thousands of dollars for us to access fertility treatment.
• No, I didn’t plan to have my body not respond to the first round of IVF medications
• No, I didn’t plan that the second round would result in only one viable embryo, from 20.
• No, I didn’t plan to have gestational diabetes in pregnancy
• No, I didn’t plan to be induced as a result of diabetes or need another c-section.

But what I am grateful for is the two beautiful boys that I get to celebrate their existence with every December and January. I’m grateful for medical treatment available to bring them into the world safely. I’m grateful I get to be a Mum, no matter what months they were born.

So to those who think I didn’t planned well, you are right. But you don’t always get to choose or control when you become a Mum.