Why New Year’s Resolutions Get a Bad Rap

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New Year’s Resolutions are really starting to get a bad rap. They were those things we would set for ourselves to do to make us newer, better people. Most of the time they focused around our health, fitness and well being. We choose those resolutions with a pass/fail mentality. eg. I will give up Chocolate for the year. I will go to the gym 5 days a week. I will give up alcohol (when most people start the year already hungover). Most of the time they were not realistic to achieve, didn’t go into how you were going to maintain this commitment and didn’t consider whether it suited your lifestyle. If you missed a day at the gym, you have failed! What does that do for your mindset and commitment? You throw in the towel and go back to your old ways. The ways that suited your busy lifestyle. For the last couple of years I have changed the way I create my focus for the New Year. I started creating 3 words that would help to guide the choices I made in the New Year. For 2016, I chose ‘Structure’, ‘Grow’, ‘Nurture’. It helped me create structure in my work and personal life to fit in time for the gym. Grow related to the business but also to my own personal growth in learning. Nurture was about caring for myself and creating a nurtured environment for my clients. In 2017, I chose ‘Fearless’, ‘Honest’, ‘Balance’. They related to taking on challenges and fearing them less (not living without fear), It was about being honest with myself about what I could handle and the choices I was making and balance was about balancing my time better between work and home. I enjoyed 2 great years that followed these principles. I didn’t feel that I had failed if I didn’t balance my time perfectly or if I missed a day at the gym. It was a much better approach for my mindset and I looked back at the end of the years to see what was achieved without constantly thinking about the words. It was working in the subconscious mind.
This year I decided to choose only one word, with 3 areas of focus. My word is relationships or ‘Bonds’. I want to create a better relationship with myself (for those that self sabotage and emotional eat or drink will understand why this is important), create greater relationships with my clients and most of all reconnecting with friends that I have lost in my focus to create a business that supports our family.
The last one has actually started by me disconnecting from social media. I deleted the Facebook app from my mobile last weekend so it’s not constantly there, sending me notifications or wasting time as I aimlessly scroll. I realised people were assuming a lot of things about my life based on what I shared and I was only seeing the good things my friends shared. When I spoke to them in person or via text, I realised they were dealing with so much more. I still have access but it’s not yelling notifications at me to look at me, look at this. I’m now working on getting in touch with friends I dearly miss and finding out all the real stuff that’s happening in their lives, not just the positives we share.
I think the New Year is a great time to look at your life and reassess. It’s a great time to set some goals for the year as you are usually relaxed after some time off and have the space in your mind to think about what you really want. So I don’t think we should throw New Year’s Resolutions out the window just yet, but maybe approach them with a different mindset.
How will you be refocusing your mindset for 2018?